monologue writing spark

“Now, you have done this before, right? So, you know that you always keep your back to the kitchen when taking orders, so the seat numbers are correct. Start on the left, and work your way around, clockwise. Always offer one alcoholic beverage and one non-alcoholic beverage. If they aren’t new customers you’ll want to offer an appetizer because they will, more than likely, know without having to look at the menu. Then, when you get back, always give the women their drinks first. Go ahead and bring split plates for the appetizer to save yourself a trip. That’s the biggest mistakes rookies make: making too many trips: you’ve got to consolidate, go around ask all your tables what they need, go back to the kitchen and knock it all out at once. I’m sure you know all this… If you’ve got a table that has ordered a bottle of wine, what do you do? You take the bottle to the table. Keep the label facing the table at all times while you open it…no, not like that. You’re going to splash them with it if you open it with that much force. You’ve got to be elegant with the bottle, you look uncultured when you do it like that. Pour a taste for the person who ordered the bottle. If they like it, you fill the ladies’ glasses first, then the host, then everyone else in order of their age.

“I was a manager at Ocean before I came here. Before that, I was an accountant for a big company up in New York. I had to move back down here when my wife started showing signs of dementia. The kids wanted to be closer to her to help out while I am out at work. Yeah, I don’t really like having days off. But when I do have a day off, I don’t do much usually watch a movie or two, watch the news, smoke cigarettes all day. So yeah, I don’t like being at home, ‘cause it’s usually by myself, even if my wife is there. She kind of just stares in one direction. Anyways, when you roll your silverware you want the turned-under edges to go on the inside, so you can’t see the stitching. Yeah, so all of these need to be re-rolled. You see? You can feel the edge when you pull the cloth out of the pile.

“Now, once the appetizer hits the table, you’re going to want to go ahead and put their entrees in. Once you do that, go back and do a ‘two-bite-check-back’ on the app, refill drinks and whatnot. By that time, if we’re busy, you’ll have another table going down. You see the big picture, right? It’s all about turnover. You want to get them in, get them fed, and get them out as quick as possible. The worst thing you can do to yourself is holding guests hostage. Make sure that check is down on the table before the last bite, have them cashed out right after that last bite. If they aren’t getting up, prebus the table if you haven’t already, which, of course, you should have. This usually gives them the hint.

“New customers get a free dessert of their choice. Now, I just go ahead and bring the bread pudding because that is what most people get and it’s the only one we offer that’s big enough to split. If you want to shoot yourself in the foot and bring out the entire dessert display every time, that’s your choice.

“Mr. Whitehurst, if you haven’t noticed you need to step it up; you’re out of ice and there are people out there that still haven’t gotten they’re drinks yet. And, you’ve got another one going down. Step it up. Now!

“I know I can be difficult sometimes. Biggest thing is doing things before someone has to tell you to do it. That’s the biggest thing. You’ll learn my little nit-picky things. You’ll learn to do all these little details before I can catch it.